


Matters of Trust

by owlmoose



Category: Dragon Age II
Genre: Circle Bethany, F/M, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-17
Updated: 2013-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-23 20:08:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/930603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlmoose/pseuds/owlmoose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When she arrives at the Gallows, Bethany makes an unexpected friend: Ser Keran, the templar she helped rescue from blood mages. Her story, and theirs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matters of Trust

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Bethany Fan Week on Tumblr, though it didn't get finished until over a week later. Inspired by three separate prompts: Bethany and Keran, Bethany teaching Ella, and a fleeting romantic encounter in the Circle. Also because I've written a fair number of stories about Bethany as a Warden, but almost none about her as a Circle Mage, and Bethany in the Circle is my primary canon for her. I wanted the chance to explore that a little bit.

In the darkness right before dawn, faceless templars shook Bethany awake to haul her from the apprentice quarters into the Harrowing Chamber, only a hint of pink sky visible through a window at the end of the corridor. Emerging now, two hours later, she had to shade her eyes from the beam of light that now filled the hall, dazzling in comparison to the Fade, and to the darkened room where she had returned to herself. The memories of the Harrowing -- the demon, its whispered promised of power and security -- were already fading, seemed unreal. Was this all purposefully done, a way of keeping her disoriented? 

"Bethany?" Orsino came up behind her, and he steadied her with a gentle hand to her back. She blinked one more time to clear her vision before turning to face him; he beamed at her. "Congratulations, and fine work. That might be the shortest Harrowing I've ever attended. But then, I would expect nothing less from the daughter of Malcolm Hawke." 

"Thank you, First Enchanter," she replied, bowing her head. 

"After that, I'm sure you need some rest," he said. "Ser Keran, would you see Bethany back to her chambers?" 

"Yes, First Enchanter," the templar standing next to the door replied, his voice muffled by his closed helm. 

"Thank you." Orsino rested a hand on Bethany's arm, and she felt the light touch of a rejuvenation spell, enough to steady her knees. "Welcome to the Gallows, child. When you feel up to it, why don't you come by my office?" 

"I will. And thank you again." He bowed his head to her, and then she turned to follow the templar back into the courtyard. 

They walked in silence for a few moments as Bethany looked around -- she hadn't gotten a good look, before. They walked through the courtyard and up a flight of stairs, into a narrow corridor ending in another stairwell. 

"Your name is Bethany," the templar said, still walking, if more slowly now. "Bethany Hawke?" 

"Yes," she replied, tentatively. "Why do you ask?" 

"I thought you seemed familiar." Ser Keran paused, then after looking over his shoulder, removed his helm. "We've met before. You and your sister-- you rescued me from blood mages a few months ago." 

Bethany studied his face, and then she recognized him -- his blond hair falling over his brow, his bright blue eyes staring straight into hers. Blue eyes, like Marian's, like Father's, like... She blinked hard, to break the connection and force the memories away. "You were being held in Darktown," she said. "I remember. Ser Cullen worried that you might be possessed." 

He nodded. "Your sister convinced him to give me a second chance, and so here I am. I took my vows just recently, but--" He stopped abruptly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't talk to you about templar business." He turned from her, though he left his helm tucked under his arm. "The regular mage's quarters are all in this building. You've been assigned a room up these stairs. Follow me." 

_A room_ . Only one? Well, even if it was a single room smaller than a closet, it had to be better than Uncle Gamlen's place. Even thinking his name brought back images from the day before, the flash of guilt followed by horror on Gamlen's face as he opened the door to see Ser Cullen standing there. That memory led to more: her mother dissolving in tears, Marian's unexpected arrival -- too late, or maybe it was too soon -- and her stunned silence, her bleak expression, the whispered "No" that had escaped her lips. Bethany closed her eyes and swallowed back her own tears as she pushed the vision away, along with the guilt, the hurt, the fear... 

"Bethany?" Ahead of her on the stairs, Keran paused, and she opened her eyes, willing them to stay dry. He tilted his head to the side, and he looked back at her with gentle eyes. Not quite the same blue as Marian's, she decided, but a shade darker. He took a step closer to her, a hand held out. "Are you all right?" 

She nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm still just... it's all very overwhelming." 

"It takes time to get used to," he said. "And I can't imagine-- well, I've never met a mage who came to the Circle for the first time as an adult. So it must be an even bigger adjustment for you. But I'm sure you'll do fine. It's like the First Enchanter said -- I've never seen a Harrowing over so fast before. And it's not so bad here. Remember, the templars are here to protect you. That's why I'm here, anyway." 

His earnest words somehow coaxed a smile from her. "Thank you, Ser Keran." 

He nodded. "Just a little bit further." Bethany plodded behind him, suddenly weary. It didn't matter what kind of room they put her in. Just as long as it had a bed. 

-x- 

It was early evening by the time Bethany felt refreshed enough to dress in her new Circle robes, deep teal with white fur trim, and make her way downstairs to Orsino's office. There was a different templar on guard outside her door this time, and this one made no small talk as she led Bethany back down the stairs, through the courtyard, and into a different side corridor. As she entered the office, Orsino looked up, and he smiled at her. 

"Ah, Bethany. Good evening. I trust you slept well?" 

"Well enough, First Enchanter," she said. 

He gestured toward a seat, and she took it. Then he looked up at the templar. "Thank you, Ser Linore. You're free to go." The templar bowed and backed out the door. Orsino shook his head with a sigh once it closed behind her. "I doubt she went any further than the hallway, but at least we can speak privately." 

Bethany nodded. "Do all mages have templar escorts inside the Gallows?" 

"Not all," Orsino said. "Just anyone the Knight Commander considers at risk. And there are any number of reasons for her to think of you that way." 

"Because I was an apostate?" she asked. She thought back on the Harrowing, on Knight Commander Meredith's fleeting look of disappointment when she'd come back from the Fade, the demon defeated. Almost as though she'd hoped for Bethany to fail. 

"Not only that, but an adult apostate who has never been within a Circle," Orsino clarified. "Also the name 'Hawke' is not unknown to us." He raised an eyebrow. "Your father is still notorious for his escape. And your sister, though not a mage, keeps some suspicious company." He folded his hands across his desk and looked straight at her. "Curious, that after evading capture for so long, you finally came to us. Do you know how you were found out?" 

Bethany folded her hands calmly on Orsino's desk. "Until recently, I had been working for a small smuggling outfit," she replied. "Most of them knew I was a mage. I tried to be discreet, but people will talk. I imagine one of the smugglers tipped off the templars for the reward." It was true, in a sense -- Tomwise had carried the information to Ser Cullen. No one ever had to know who had asked Tomwise to play courier. Not Orsino, not Ser Cullen, and certainly not her family. "My sister was on a Deep Roads expedition meant to last weeks; they must have known it was their best opportunity to turn me in." 

Orsino nodded. "Your sister... will she be a problem?" 

"I don't think so," Bethany said. "And even if she tried to be, I wouldn't encourage her." She lowered her eyes. "Marian has sacrificed so much for my sake already. I won't see her imprisoned, or worse, for trying to break me out." She looked back up, met Orsino's large hazel eyes. "You don't need to worry about me, First Enchanter. I'm not going to try to escape, or stir up trouble. The Circle is my home now, and I will try to make the best of it." 

"I'm glad to hear that." Orsino leaned back in his chair. "This will be a very different life than the one you knew before, I'm afraid, but there are good things about being in the Circle, too: the opportunity to train, to learn more skills, and to pass on your knowledge to other mages. Your father was an excellent teacher, and I hope you'll take up where he left off." 

"Did you know my father?" Bethany asked. 

"By reputation only," Orsino said. "I came here from Nevarra just five years ago, so we never met. But several of our Enchanters learned creation magic from him, and they still speak of him with great fondness. I'm sure you'll meet them later." 

"I look forward to it." 

"Good." He leaned forward, raised an eyebrow. "And are you also skilled in the school of creation?" 

"I have the basics, but I was never as good as Father," Bethany said. "Elemental is my primary school, and I know some arcane magic as well." 

"Ah!" Orsino rubbed his hands together and favored her with a warm smile. "That's a fine combination, indeed. I'll talk to Meredith about placing you soon. Now, will you accompany me to dinner? I'm sure you're starving after today's ordeal." 

-x- 

"Very good work, Ella," Bethany said, resting her hand on the apprentice's shoulder. "You'll be ready to create your own shields any day now." 

"I hope so." Ella tipped her staff forward to banish the cage that enveloped the practice target across the room. "I want to be ready for my Harrowing." 

"It should be soon." Bethany hoped so, anyway; she didn't like the way some of the templars had been looking at the girl. Once she was Harrowed, she would be better able to protect herself. 

Ella set her staff back into the cabinet, then glanced up at Bethany, shyly. "So-- is it true?" She lowered her voice with a glance at the templar on guard by the door. "Were you really raised outside the Circle?" 

Bethany nodded. "My father was an apostate, so I grew up an apostate, too." 

"And you really never turned to blood magic?" Ella's eyes were wide, admiring. "The knight commander says that all apostates resort to blood magic eventually." 

"Never," Bethany assured her. "And neither did my father. For as long as I remember, he taught me how to strengthen my defenses against demons, and how to avoid the temptation." 

Ella lowered her gaze, but not before Bethany saw a flash of jealousy there. It was an expression Bethany had seen often, a combination of longing and hero-worship, and she was never sure how to react to it. So she cleared her throat and backed away. "Same time tomorrow for your next lesson?" 

"Of course. Thank you again." Ella bowed, then left the library; Bethany finished putting away the spell books before heading the other direction, toward her rooms. She nodded to the templar as she passed him, but he stared stonily forward, a steady scowl beneath his moustache. After six months in the gallows, she had gotten used to it -- some templars were civil, but others barely contained their contempt for the mages. It was always a relief to exit her quarters or the library and learn that her escort was one of the kinder sorts. Today, her luck was good -- her heart skipped at the sight of Ser Keran leaning against the wall on the other side of the doorjamb. He was one of the few templars who would carry on a conversation with her, and she still remembered his kindness after her Harrowing. And she also didn't mind the chance to admire his warm smile, his bright eyes, the sunny yellow of his hair. 

"Good evening," she said as he jerked to attention, shoulders setting straight. 

"Good evening, Bethany." One corner of his mouth twitched into a quick half smile. He never said as much, but Bethany knew he was almost as pleased to see her as she was him. "Will you be going back to your rooms, or would you like some dinner?" 

"Dinner, if you please." He acknowledged her request with a nod, and the two of them set off together toward the dining room. After a few minutes of silence, she glanced at him. "How are you, ser? I haven't seen you in weeks." 

"I was assigned to patrol duty," Keran replied. "Out on the Wounded Coast and then in the mountains, looking for--" He stopped with an apologetic shrug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't really be telling you this. I-- I'm not really supposed to be talking to you at all." His voice dropped, and she had to lean in to hear him. "I think that's part of the reason the Knight Captain sent me away from Kirkwall. He doesn't like it when templars get too friendly with the mages. Thinks it might impair our judgment." 

"Ah." Bethany's stomach sank with unexpected disappointment. "Of course. I don't want to get you in trouble." 

Keran looked away and took a deep breath. "Thank you. I-- I do enjoy our conversations, if you don't mind my saying so. Enough that I don't mind getting in a little trouble. But if being in trouble means not seeing you, well." He looked back at her, and he was blushing, forehead pink to the roots of his hair. "I'd rather see you without being able to talk to you than not see you at all." 

A breath caught in Bethany's throat, and she put out a hand to steady herself. Unfortunately, the nearest solid handhold was Keran's arm, and so her fingers wrapped around his gauntlet, bringing to mind a wonder of what he might feel like beneath. He looked down at her, blue eyes bright, and she licked her lips, involuntarily. "I--" Her next words came out in a whisper. "I agree." 

He closed his eyes and nodded, then pulled away from Bethany's hand. "I'm sorry." 

"It's all right." Bethany turned away from him, took several deep breaths to center herself, then let out a sigh. So, that's why she was always so happy to see him. Well, it couldn't be helped. She would just have to learn to enjoy his company in silence. "Please, take me to the dining room." 

"Of course." His voice was steadier now, more distant. "This way." 

-x- 

The next morning, Bethany was surprised to find First Enchanter Orsino at the door instead of one of the templars. And even more surprised that her first thought was not relief, but a surge of disappointment that it was Orsino and not Ser Keran, the morning light glinting off his hair. Foolishness, really; she had no reason to expect him to be assigned to her again so soon. 

"Good news," Orsino said. "The Knight Commander has decided that you pose no more risk than any other mage, and she has cancelled your personal escort. You will be allowed to move freely about the Gallows -- in all the areas permitted to a mage of your rank, that is." 

Bethany smiled, a small smile. "I'm very glad to hear that." 

Orsino patted her shoulder. "It should have happened months ago. You're so good with the apprentices. The older girls, in particular, seem to look up to you. But now that your restrictions have been lifted, I want to try you with the younger children. They need a more calming influence, and I think you would be well suited. And then, you can join their lessons in force magic -- our traditional discipline in Kirkwall, one that would complement your elemental skills well." 

"I would like that very much." Bethany's smile felt more genuine now. "I've missed studying my magic." 

"And I'm glad we can give you the opportunity to learn more." Orsino dropped his hand and stepped away. "Let's meet your new charges." 

-x- 

And so Bethany's new life fell into a regular pattern: mornings with the children, teaching them to read and write, afternoons studying the applications of force magic and mentoring older apprentices, evenings in fellowship with the other mages. And always, out the corner of her eye and the back of her thoughts, Ser Keran: passing him in the halls, exchanging nods, taking rotations through the children's ward and the library. They rarely spoke, but every time she saw his face, Bethany couldn't help but smile at him, and she could swear an answering light would come into his eyes. Between times, she could almost forget, but not quite, and the sight of him would bring the memories back -- his armor under her fingers, the catch of breath in her throat, the intensity of his voice when he spoke. She wondered if he thought as much on the fleeting moment they'd shared as she did. 

More months passed, becoming years, blending one into the next. The children grew and became apprentices, apprentices were Harrowed and passed out of her care, new children and apprentices came to take their place. And she learned how to manipulate the energies from the earth, how to knock over objects, hold them to the ground, even to slow the passage of time itself. But outside her gravity fields, time marched on, until the day she was awakened early in the morning by a commotion in the courtyard outside her window. 

She jumped out of bed and pulled on her robes almost without thinking, then gasped at the sight of a templar in her doorway, shrinking back into the corner of the room, before she remembered that this templar was here to protect her, not drag her away somewhere. _Probably_ \-- the thought came unbidden, another wave of panic seizing her before she recognized the man in the doorway as Ser Keran. 

"Keran?" 

He sagged, shoulders slumping as he leaned on the doorway. "Good, you're still here." He checked the corridor over his shoulder. "There was an escape. About half a dozen mages got out. I just wanted to make sure you weren't one of them." 

Bethany straightened, pursed her lips. "I thought I had earned your trust." 

"You have, I just--" Keran looked around again, then drew closer. "One of your first apprentices was among those who got out. Ella. So, I just thought, maybe..." He let out a sigh. "But I'm glad you're here. You don't want to be out and about while Ser Alrik is hunting. Trust me." His eyebrows lowered into a fierce, protective expression. "You'll be safer in here for awhile." 

"Please, Keran. Just tell me what's happening." 

His face twisted, brows drawn together. "I wish I could, I really do. But it's better for you not to know." He stepped back. "I'll be in the hall if you need me." 

Bethany reached for him, dared to rest her hand on his gauntlet again, her fingers brushing the join around his wrist. "What if I need you in here?" 

Keran started, but did not pull away; Bethany almost pulled away herself, startled by her own boldness, but he stopped her, covering her fingers with his other hand. "You don't know what you're asking me to turn down," he said. "I'm a templar, my vows..." 

"Didn't stop you from visiting The Blooming Rose." She grinned at him, a teasing tone coming into her voice, and even in the dim light, Bethany could see his cheeks turning pink. 

"I don't do that anymore. Not after what happened. Besides, it was different there." He lowered his eyes. "Those women weren't mages. I wasn't sworn to protect them. And I wasn't-- I never--" 

He leaned closer to her with each word, and she lifted her chin, felt his breath warm on her forehead. "You never what?" 

Keran brought the back of his hand to her cheek, and she shivered at the touch of cold metal. "Please don't make me say it," he murmured. "If I say it, it becomes real." 

Bethany raised herself up on tiptoe and brushed their noses together. "Then don't say it in words." 

He let out a sigh, a rush of air, and followed it with a kiss, his mouth on hers, soft and hard at once. Bethany closed her eyes and kissed him back, gently, one hand shaped around the curve of either side of his warm neck. 

Then he pulled away, forehead pressed to hers. "Maker's breath," he sighed. "I want-- but I can't. We can't. Don't ask me again." And then he was gone, releasing her from his embrace; Bethany opened her eyes just in time to see him vanish behind the closing door. She leaned up against it, ear pressed to the wood to listen for his footsteps, but they never came. He was still there, standing guard just as she had promised; she slid down the door to sit on the floor, taking up a watch of her own. 

-x- 

It was a long, uneasy day of being confined to quarters. Eventually, Bethany fell back asleep where she sat; she woke stiff, stomach growling, with a crick in her neck. As she stood, rolling her head around on her shoulders, she checked the lock on her door and found it open. She opened the door and craned her head around to peek, but Keran was gone, and no other templar had taken up his place. She stepped carefully into the empty corridor and headed for the dining room. Evening had fallen, and mages were beginning to emerge from their quarters, standing around in small groups in the courtyard, helmed templars ringing the space. If Keran was among them, he did not reveal himself, and Bethany sighed in relief and disappointment both. Across the way, she spotted Alain, standing alone by a column; she caught his eye, and he nodded to her. 

"Do you know what happened?" she asked, softly. 

Alain lowered his chin, face barely visible behind his cowl. "Some mages escaped. Ser Alrik and his gang were right behind them, though." 

"Did they get caught?" 

"They haven't come back." Alain lowered his voice, even further, to a near whisper. "And neither have the templars. No one knows why." 

"I do." The whisper from behind Bethany was harsh, and she turned to see Grace, another of the escapees from Starkhaven. "Word just came back from my contacts in the Underground. Alrik is dead. Only one of the templars escaped, and he was babbling about smugglers and abominations, and a demon glowing blue and white." Grace stared at Bethany, eyes hard. "You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?" 

Bethany shuddered inside. That could only be Anders and the spirit of Justice, which meant that her sister must have been there, too. Was Marian working with the Mage Underground? It seemed wrong, after everything Bethany had done to take the eyes of the templars away from her. But she lifted her head and met Grace's eyes with a shrug. "Why would I?" 

"No reason," Grace murmured, not looking away. "It just sounds awfully familiar, with some of the other stories coming out of the dust smuggling tunnels." 

"You know I'm not involved with the Underground." Bethany raised an eyebrow. "And if you were smart, you wouldn't be either. Not after what happened in Starkhaven." 

Grace crossed her arms and looked away, and Bethany took the opportunity to end the conversation, moving to stand alone and wait for instructions. Grace was trouble, and Bethany wanted no part of it. 

-x- 

The next day, Bethany found Keran on duty in the library. He was locked into armor and helm, but still she knew it was him -- she knew, by now, the set of his shoulders, the curve of his back. Despite the doubling of patrols since the escape, they were alone, and so she walked up to him and softly said his name. 

He glanced right, then left, then lifted the visor of his helm. "Bethany," he said, gently. 

"You left," she said. 

He nodded. "I was called to help search the tunnels. But we didn't find the mages." 

"Only Ser Alrik, I know. His death has been the talk of the Gallows." 

"So it looks like Ella and the others got away." Keran sighed. "I shouldn't be glad for them, and yet." He looked down at her, eyes soft. "I don't know whether I'm more glad or sorry that you weren't with them." 

Bethany rested a hand on his chest. "I'm not going anywhere," she said. "This is my place now." 

Keran covered her hand with his own. "Do you really believe that?" 

She shrugged. "I've never really belonged anywhere else. The Circle isn't perfect, but it's the place Andraste made for me. I miss my sister and my mother, and some of her friends, and the freedom to walk out into the sunlight whenever I feel like it. But how free was I, really? Listening for the templars, afraid to see them around every corner, expecting each new person I met to be the one to turn me in?" She shook her head. "When it finally happened, it was more a relief than anything. At least I didn't have to fear the worst any more. And I have friends here." She looked up into his face, his furrowed brow, and resisted the urge to touch his cheek. 

"Bethany, please," he whispered; she didn't know whether it was a request for her to go or to stay, and so she chose the interpretation she preferred, coming up on her toes to kiss him. His gauntleted fingers tightened around hers, and he kissed her back, hard, pressing their lips together with a low sigh. She leaned into him, heedless of the sharp corners of his armor as she tasted his breath, caught his full lower lip between her teeth, and he moaned into her mouth. His other hand still buried into her hair, he pulled his head back, breaking the kiss, breathing hard, staring straight into her eyes. 

"Maker, I can't, I can't!" He bit his lip. "Don't you see? If I do this, if I'm with you, I'm no better than men like Alrik, the templars who take the mages in their charge into secret places, the powerless and the Tranquil and... use them. Surely you've heard the stories." 

Bethany lowered herself back to the soles of her feet, but she didn't let go. "I have, and they sicken me. And-- scare me, sometimes. But you're nothing like them." 

"Aren't I?" Keran lowered his eyes. "Or is it only a matter of degree?" 

She shook her head. "I'm here because I want to be here. Not because you're forcing me." 

He caught a hand beneath her chin, forced him to look at him again. "But I could force you, if I wanted to. If you wanted to say no, could you? Truly? You know I have the power to go to the Knight Commander and tell her you're a risk, that you should be executed or made Tranquil for your own safety and the safety of the Gallows." 

"You would never do such a thing," Bethany said. 

"Do you know that? Are you sure?" Keran stared hard at her. "You take a terrible risk in trusting me. Especially when I don't know whether I can trust myself." 

Bethany stepped close to him again, laid a hand on his lightly stubbled cheek. "It is because you ask these questions that I know I can trust you." 

He closed his eyes and turned away. "I'm not worthy of you," he murmured. He took a deep breath, then looked back. "But I still can't. I would be severely reprimanded, if we were found out, and my place here is precarious enough as it is." His voice took on a decidedly bitter tone. "Ironic, isn't it, that I might lose my position if you came to me willingly, but they would look the other way if I took you by force." 

"It's not right," Bethany declared. 

"No, it isn't," Keran said, rueful. "But it is reality." 

She brushed her lips across the bridge of his nose. "I would not cause you further grief," she said. "I promise, from now on, I will leave you be." 

"Thank you." He ran a finger over the line of her jaw, then sighed. "Maker, I hate this." 

She forced a weak smile. "Maybe there's a reason. Maybe we'll find out someday." 

"Maybe." Keran stepped back and lowered his visor. "But for now, I must bid you good day." 

"Good day, indeed," Bethany muttered, unable to keep a bit of bitterness from creeping in. But at least now she knew. 

-x- 

"Bethany? Bethany!" 

It sounded like Marian, but it came from far away, so far away... Bethany had been asleep in her chamber, locked in for the night as had become the custom in the Gallows, so why was the bed beneath her so hard, and packed full of pebbles? Was she dreaming? It was a dream, had to be a dream when templars and mages burst into her room together -- Grace, Thrask, Alain, with whispered chanting and the sharp scent of blood. Or maybe this was the dream, her sister's sweet, low voice drifting through heavy fog, and she would wake alone in the Gallows, alone yet again... 

Dream or no dream, her head was pounding, and so she sat up, rubbing her temple with her fingers. She blinked a few times, harsh sun suddenly filling her eyes, followed by the smell of smoke and burning flesh and the sea. "Sister?" She shook her head and her vision cleared, and she saw Marian standing in front of her, Alain crouched by her side, his head bowed and his hand dripping with blood. "What happened? How did I get here?" "Here" seemed to be an outcropping on the Wounded Coast, all set with sand and sagebrush, a gang of templars looming in the distance. 

"Bethany!" Marian grabbed her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "You're all right?" 

"I'm fine," Bethany said, putting her arms around Marian's trembling shoulders. "I think-- some people broke into my rooms? Including you." She looked over at Alain, who shuffled his feet in the dirt. "What is this all about?" 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Alain burst out. "I should never have gone along with it. You tried to warn me that Grace was trouble, and I didn't listen. I'm sorry." 

Bethany shook her head. "I still don't understand." 

"We'll talk later," Marian said, recovering herself and standing, holding a hand to help Bethany to her feet. "We have to get you back." She tipped her chin back over her shoulder, and Bethany followed the meaningful glance toward the templars, including Ser Cullen, glowering down at them. 

"Bethany," he said, nodding gravely. "Please accept my apologies for allowing this to happen. I should have been more aware of the treachery within my ranks." 

"Apology accepted, Knight Captain," Bethany replied with a quick curtsey. 

He bowed his head, arms crossed over his chest. Then he turned a look of near rage on Alain. "As for you, blood mage--" 

Marian let go of Bethany and stepped in front of Alain. "Please, Ser Cullen, have mercy on the boy. He just fell in with a bad element, and they're gone. I'm sure he's learned his lesson. Haven't you, Alain." She spoke quietly, but Bethany heard the hard core of anger beneath. Marian had already stood up for Alain once, six years ago; she would not take kindly to having that trust breached. 

Alain nodded swiftly. "I have. Oh I have. Please, Knight Captain." 

Cullen looked from Alain, to Marian, to Bethany. Then he let out a slow sigh. "All right. We've seen enough death today. But we will be watching, Alain. Another misstep will be your last." 

"I understand, ser." Alain's shoulders slumped with relief. "Thank you for your mercy." 

"See that I don't regret it." Cullen grasped Alain by the arm and pushed him roughly toward the other templars before he turned back to Marian. "Thank you, Champion. I'm sorry you got caught up in this matter." Marian inclined her head, and he rested a hand on Bethany's shoulder, lighter than his handling of Alain, but still firm. 

"You can make it up to me by letting me walk my sister back to Kirkwall." Marian took Bethany's other arm and squeezed lightly. "We'll stay within your line of sight." 

Cullen sighed again. "Fine. But only until we get back to the city." 

He moved to the head of the line of templars, and Bethany fell into step next to Marian, who still had her hand wrapped around Bethany's elbow. Once Cullen was out of earshot, she leaned in to Marian's ear. "Can you tell me what happened?" 

"It was a conspiracy among the mages and templars, to overthrow Meredith's rule of the Gallows and Kirkwall," Marian replied, also softly. "Grace and Thrask were the leaders, and they kidnapped you to convince me to cooperate." 

Bethany's eyebrows went up. "They thought _that_ would get you to go along with them?" 

Marian sighed. "If they'd asked nicely, they would have found a receptive audience. Instead, they got a panicked big sister. Clearly, whoever made that decision didn't know either of us very well." 

"How did you find out?" Bethany asked. 

"Orsino warned me about the conspiracy and asked me to help stop them. The clues led to a warehouse, where I overheard some templars having a disagreement. Unfortunately they were in the mood to fight, not negotiate." Marian shook her head. "And then when Keran told me they had you--" 

Bethany froze, one foot stuck in front of the other. "Keran?" She swiveled toward her sister, eyes going wide. "Ser Keran was one of them?" 

"Yes." Marian tipped her head sideways. "You remember him?" 

"I remember him," Bethany whispered through a mouth gone dry. Her arm went slack and slipped out of Marian's hand, and her heart pounded in her ears. "He... he was part of this? _Keran?_ " 

"He was one of the conspirators, but he claimed not to know that I was their target." Marian shook her head. "Maybe it was foolish, but I believed him, and I let him go. Maybe he went back to the Gallows, maybe he ran. I don't know, and I don't really care." 

Bethany closed her eyes and swallowed hard. It made sense, in a way. But to work with Grace, and the other troublemakers among the mages... She opened her eyes. "Thrask?" 

"Dead," Marian said, mouth setting into a grim line at the word. "Grace... used his life to summon a demon. I should have killed her in those caves when I had the chance. Thrask was--" She lowered her voice further, almost to a whisper. "Thrask's methods may have been misguided, but he was the best of the templars. He'd been a better leader than Meredith, that's for sure. If only he'd come to me directly instead of teaming up with that damned malifecar..." She lowered her eyes. "Let's just say things might be very different right now." She looked over her shoulder at Merrill, Aveline, and Anders, and Bethany saw a flicker of unease in the back of her eyes. Then it passed, and she touched Bethany's arm again with a light smile. "But it's over now, and you're safe." 

It was too much, all at once. Grace and Thrask and so many others dead, Alain disgraced, and Keran... Bethany shied away from the thought of him, from the memories of the past months and years. She had learned his shifts as best she could, in order to pass him in the hallways; they would exchange cordial nods, perhaps a few words, careful not to touch, never to share a room alone. If he were part of this, if he had conspired to hurt her, to hurt Marian... Her head swam, and she pressed a palm to her forehead to push her thoughts away. 

"Bethany?" Marian put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?" 

"I'm a little shaken, still," Bethany admitted. "I'll be all right, I promise." She took a deep breath, then covered Marian's hand with her own. "Thank you, again." 

"I'll always come for you," Marian said. "You know that." 

"I do." Bethany hugged her sister, then let her go. "Come on, I want to get back to town before it gets dark." Even if a part of her wanted the walk to last forever, and dreaded the return to the Gallows, afraid to see who was still there-- and who was not. 

-x- 

Once at the Gallows, Bethany left Marian and the others in the hands of an escort from the band of templars. She walked quickly to her room, keeping her head down, ignoring the stares of the templars on guard in the halls, and the few mages still allowed in the courtyard. She could feel their curiosity, and she knew summons from Meredith and Orsino both would likely be forthcoming, but for now she wanted to retreat to the safe confines of her room. 

If her room was even a safe haven anymore. She looked at the door, closed and locked behind her by her templar escort -- a younger woman, a girl with dark hair who Bethany didn't know -- and shivered. If the templars were the danger, how could a locked door protect her? 

She sat in her chair, running a hand through her hair and lowering her chin. Only then did she see the note on her table, propped up by a dagger with the Templar flame worked into the handle. It was folded, not sealed, and her name was written on the outside in an unfamiliar hand. She shook it open and scanned quickly to the bottom, where she was not entirely surprised to see Keran's name. Sitting back in the chair, she read the letter a second time. 

_Dear Bethany,_

_I am sorry, so sorry. You have to believe I didn't know. I would never have helped them if I'd known it was you. By Andraste's blood and sacred ashes, I swear I did not know._

_You must understand, by joining Thrask and the others, I did what I thought best for the mages and the templars both. Meredith is too blinded by power and fear to be a good leader, and she must be stopped. If you are reading this note, then Thrask has failed, and I'm either dead with him or have left the Gallows for good. As long as Meredith remains Knight Commander, I cannot serve the Circle in good conscience. It hurts me to leave, and to leave you, but it is the choice I must make._

_Please, please, if you value your life, you will leave the Gallows, too. Tomorrow, if you can. There is a rumor that Meredith has called for the Rite of Annulment. You know what that means. Although the Mage Underground is no more, I know you have friends who can help you. Let me help you. I plan to take rooms at the Hanged Man. If you can get there, or send a message, I will do whatever I can to get you out._

_I'm sorry, for everything. I wish I could have been a better friend to you. If you come find me, I will spend my life making it up to you. Otherwise, think of me fondly, if you can._

_Always your servant,_

_Keran_

She ran her fingertips down the smooth paper, hesitating over his name. Then she crumpled up the note and called the flames, heating her hands until the paper beneath her fingers started smoking, then caught at the edges, browning, curling inward. In less than a moment, only ashes on the table remained; Bethany took a handful and then walked to the window, holding her hand out between the bars to let them scatter on the wind. 

She believed him. He was a good man, with a good heart, and he was not wrong about Meredith. But what could she do about it without putting her sister at risk? She could glimpse the mountains in the distance, rising over the back of the Gallows. They might as well be on the moon, for all that she could reach them. The Circle had let her out once, to deal with the threat from the Carta, but after today's events, after such stark proof that she could be used as leverage against Marian, she doubted they would let her out of their sight again. "I'm sorry," she murmured into the breeze, knowing that the words would not carry to Keran in the Hanged Man, wishing they would, wishing she dared to write him back. "I have to stay. Maybe in another life." 

-x- 

Another life began two weeks later. 

Bethany fought off the creeping sense of unreality as she stood on the docks of the Gallows, Marian on her left and Isabela on her right, a ship and freedom behind them. Anders was already on the ship, hidden away from anyone who might want to take revenge on him; Bethany was not sure how she felt, could not bring herself to look in the direction of the smoking ruins of the Chantry, but if Marian could forgive him... well, she would work on it. 

"Ready to go?" Isabela asked. 

"I want to get a few things from the mansion first, if I can," said Marian. "Make sure Bodahn and Sandal and Orana got out." 

"I'll escort you," Aveline said, stepping forward, Donnic at her side. "But you shouldn't take too long." 

"Believe me." Marian glanced back at the Gallows. "I trust Cullen to give me a bit of a head start, but I don't want to spend any longer here than I must." She turned to Bethany. "Do you want to come along, or wait here?" 

"I think--" but then her thoughts were cut off by a man's voice calling her name. Keran's voice. She turned swiftly to see him running towards her, head bare, dressed in what looked like pieces of cast-off armor. "Keran?" 

He came to her, gripped her shoulders, his face inches from hers, blue eyes filling with relief as he looked her over. "You're all right. Thank the Maker, you're all right!" 

She lifted her hands to balance on his elbows. "I'm all right," she confirmed. "What are you doing here?" 

"I heard about the Rite of Annulment," he said. "I came to help defend the mages. But I guess I'm too late." He glanced over his shoulder, expression uneasy. "Is Meredith--" 

"She's... dead." Or close enough. But Bethany didn't yet have the words to describe what had happened in that courtyard. Maybe later. "And Ser Cullen stood against her, in the end." 

Keran let out a sigh. "I thought he might. If only he'd seen reason earlier. So many lives--" his face contorted, and she knew he was thinking of Thrask, and Grace, and dozens of others. She squeezed his arm, and he looked back at her, the crease on his brow smoothing. "But you're all right." 

"And so are you," she replied. He swept her into an embrace, and she hugged him back, resting her cheek on his chest. 

"What will you do now?" he asked, his voice rumbling beneath his breastplate. 

"We're leaving," said Bethany. "My sister and I, and a few of her friends. I don't know exactly where. I'm not sure anyone does. We have a ship. Once we're safely away, I guess we'll decide the details." She leaned back and looked up at him. "And you?" 

"I don't know." He shook his head. "I can't go back to the templars. I can't go back home. There's nothing for me in Kirkwall. Not if you're leaving." 

Bethany took a deep breath and spoke the most impulsive thought she'd ever had in her life. "Then come with us." 

He looked at her, startled. "But-- how can you trust me?" 

"You honored your vows by leaving; now you honor them by coming back. I can't think of anything that would make a man more worthy." She stepped back from his arms and took her hand in his. "You'll be on the run with a couple of highly wanted apostates, though." 

He squeezed her fingers, a smile spreading on his face. "I think I can live with that." 

Hands still laced together, Bethany pulled Keran up the gangway behind her, a warm glow in her heart and a giggle on her lips, past Isabela's astonished grin and Marian's bewildered stare. There would be plenty of time to explain once they hit the seas. For now, standing on the deck, she came up on tiptoe and kissed him, ready to leave at last. 


End file.
